Group members arrived carrying a special article of clothing that was once worn by their deceased loved one. Each shared a special memory that the article  of clothing evokes before transforming the fabric into a heart-shaped pillow. 

One lady talked about her husband's biker shirt. Two sisters and a mother revealed how their t-shirts had been Christmas gifts from their deceased sister and daughter several years ago. One member brought her mother’s old robe, showing the cigarette burns marking the material. She added, "It never kept me from wearing it for years." This activity provided the opportunity to talk about the reality of their loss as they cut their material into heart-shaped pillows. 

While shirts are usually a major selection for the group, any type of clothing is honored. One year a baby blanket became a heart pillow. Most often, widows bring their spouse's flannel shirts, which can still retain the pocket after it is styled. 

Using a paper heart pattern and pins, each person cut their material into a heart shape. Jane Wechman, Bluegrass Care Navigators Volunteer seamstress, patiently helped each member with final touches on her machine. As the sides were turned outward and the pillows were stuffed, Tiffany Rose, Integrative Medicine Program Art Intern, mingled within the crowd to further encourage sharing. 

To make the project even more meaningful, the grief counselor suggested that each person write a note to the deceased loved one. Each note was placed deep into the heart just prior to sewing it closed, symbolizing the continued deep, emotional connection. The shirts no longer evoked only memories, they had become pillows that contained feelings of the survivor as well. 

To learn more about Grief Care Services and upcoming events, visit bgcarenav.org/grief-care. 

Used with permission from The Memory Heart Group as a memorial to their loved one.  This group is a ritual of remembrance and is for all ages.