Navigating Dating After the Loss of a Partner
Losing a spouse or partner is an experience that can reshape every aspect of daily life, including how you connect with others. As you navigate the journey of grief and healing, you may find yourself wondering if—and when—dating might feel right for you.
Consider the following questions:
Where are you in your grieving process?
- Many people the year following the loss of a spouse or partner to be a period of enormous adjustment and wait to begin dating until getting through these “firsts”. But, everyone’s grief is unique, and you may be ready before then, long after the first year, or never.
Who do you want to include in the conversation?
- You may want to seek input from or to inform your adult children, close friends, or faith leaders as you make your decision.
What do you hope to gain for a new dating relationship?
- Reducing loneliness or finding a consistent companion may be a key factor. Spend some time in honest reflection about expectations of a new relationship. Ask yourself the hard question “Am I trying to replace the roles my partner filled in my life?”.
Have you considered the full range of ways to address loneliness?
- Becoming more active in your community, joining a class, deepening existing friendships, adopting a pet, and volunteering may also help.
- Special note: Please make sure you have the energy and resources to dedicate to caring for a pet before you adopt an animal.
If you choose to begin dating, what are you comfortable telling your dates about your widowed status?
- Some people share details about this part of their lives right away while others choose to wait until they are more comfortable in their new relationship.
Safety Guidelines to Keep in Mind:
- Look out for signs of romance scams or people that may take advantage of you.
- Be cautious about giving out personal details too soon.
- Be suspicious of any request for money in dating. Avoid sharing any financial information.
- Do a Google search on the person you are considering dating.
- Be aware that a date outside of your same age category is higher risk.
- Meet in a public place for a first date and let a friend/family member know where you are.
- Arrange a call from a friend during the 1st date—to have a graceful exit, if needed.
- Limit alcohol on dates—stay in control.
- Arrange for your own transportation so you can leave when you want.
- Limit/avoid personal information in your dating profile, if you post online.
- Remember that sexually transmitted infections can be contracted at any age.
- Take it slowly. Being cautious and allowing time for a new relationship to grow will give you time to reflect on your experience and reduce the risks of dating.
Our grief care services are for anyone in the community who has experienced the loss of a loved one. Discover how our team can help you and your family by contacting us through our website or calling 855.492.0812.
Other Resources
whatsyourgrief.com/widow-dating-am-i-ready
getgriefymagazine.com/blog/dating-and-remarrying-after-death-the-untold-truth
By Mike Brown, MSW, Lisa King, PsyD, CGD and Melinda Simpson, LCSW, APHSW-C
Bereavement Counselors | Bluegrass Care Navigators











